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What to expect in couples therapy and how it helps

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February 9, 2026

What to expect in couples therapy and how it helps

What to expect in couples therapy is often a question that lingers in the minds of partners seeking support. This transformative journey is designed to help couples navigate the complexities of their relationships, uncovering deeper emotional connections and facilitating healthier communication. While some may hold misconceptions about therapy being a last resort or an indication of failure, statistics reveal its efficacy in strengthening bonds and promoting understanding.

In the first session, couples can expect a structured approach where therapists ask insightful questions, aiming to set clear goals for the journey ahead. As the therapy unfolds, various techniques such as Emotionally Focused Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy come into play, providing a framework for addressing personal and relational challenges. Couples will also learn how to tackle specific issues, improve emotional intimacy, and monitor their progress along the way.

Introduction to Couples Therapy

Couples therapy serves as a structured environment where partners can openly discuss their issues with the guidance of a trained professional. Its primary purpose is to facilitate communication, foster understanding, and build stronger relationships. The benefits of engaging in couples therapy are manifold, often resulting in enhanced emotional intimacy, improved conflict resolution skills, and a deeper appreciation of each partner’s unique perspective.Despite its proven advantages, many harbor misconceptions about what couples therapy entails.

Some believe that it is solely for couples on the brink of separation, while others think it represents a failure to resolve issues independently. In reality, couples therapy can be a proactive measure to strengthen relationships before they encounter significant problems. Statistics reveal that approximately 70% of couples who attend therapy report improved relationship satisfaction, highlighting its potential effectiveness.

Common Misconceptions about Couples Therapy

Addressing misconceptions is crucial for encouraging couples to seek help when needed. Many people have a skewed perception of therapy, believing it to be an arena of blame or judgment. In truth, therapy focuses on understanding dynamics and finding collaborative solutions.

  • Couples therapy is only for those in crisis.

    Many couples benefit from therapy as a preventive measure, addressing minor conflicts before they escalate.

  • Therapy is about assigning blame.

    The focus is on understanding behavior patterns and improving communication rather than pointing fingers.

  • Only one partner needs to agree to attend therapy.

    Joint participation fosters a shared commitment to enhancing the relationship.

Statistics on Couples Therapy Success Rates

The effectiveness of couples therapy can be illustrated through various statistics, demonstrating its positive impact on relationships.

  • Research indicates that nearly 75% of couples who complete therapy report significant improvements in their relationship.
  • A longitudinal study found that around 65% of couples experienced a reduction in conflict after engaging in therapy sessions.
  • Furthermore, a survey conducted by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy noted that 93% of couples found the therapy beneficial.

What to Expect in the First Session

The first session of couples therapy serves as a foundational meeting where both partners begin to explore their relationship challenges in a safe environment. This initial encounter is crucial, as it sets the tone for the therapeutic process and allows the therapist to gain insight into the dynamics of the couple’s relationship. While it may feel daunting, understanding the structure and purpose of this session can alleviate anxiety and create a more productive experience.Therapists generally follow a structured approach during the first session to ensure comprehensive coverage of essential aspects of the couple’s relationship.

This typically involves introductions, a review of the couple’s history, and an exploration of the concerns that brought them to therapy. The therapist facilitates the conversation, encouraging both partners to share their perspectives while maintaining a balanced dialogue.

Structure of the First Therapy Session

The initial therapy session usually unfolds in several key segments that help establish the groundwork for future discussions. These segments include:

  • Introductions: Each partner is given an opportunity to introduce themselves and express their reasons for seeking therapy.
  • Setting the Stage: The therapist Artikels the structure of the session and sets expectations for confidentiality and respect during discussions.
  • Relationship History: Couples are encouraged to share their story, including how they met, pivotal moments in their relationship, and current challenges.
  • Identifying Concerns: The therapist guides the couple to articulate their specific difficulties, facilitating an understanding of each partner’s viewpoint.
  • Goal Setting: By the end of the session, the couple is prompted to discuss their goals for therapy, which serves as a guiding framework for future sessions.

Types of Questions Therapists May Ask Couples

During the first session, therapists pose various questions designed to uncover deeper insights into the couple’s relationship dynamics. The goal is to facilitate open communication and help the therapist understand each partner’s perspective. Common types of questions include:

  • Background Information: Questions regarding the couple’s relationship timeline, significant events, and family dynamics.
  • Current Issues: Inquiries about specific conflicts, communication patterns, and emotional responses to each other’s behavior.
  • Individual Experiences: Questions focusing on each partner’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences within the relationship.
  • Goals and Expectations: Discussions around what each partner hopes to achieve through therapy and any fears or reservations they may have.

Importance of Setting Goals During the Initial Meeting

Setting goals in the first session is a pivotal component of the therapeutic process, as it fosters a sense of direction and purpose for both partners. Establishing clear objectives helps to create a shared vision of what they wish to accomplish, ensuring that both partners feel actively involved in their journey towards improvement.

“Goals provide a roadmap for couples to navigate through their challenges, allowing them to measure progress and celebrate achievements along the way.”

The significance of goal setting can be summarized in the following points:

  • Clarity: Clearly defined goals help couples focus on specific issues rather than getting lost in emotional turmoil.
  • Commitment: When both partners agree on therapeutic objectives, it fosters accountability and commitment to the process.
  • Progress Tracking: Goals allow couples to track their progress, providing motivation and reinforcing positive changes.
  • Enhanced Communication: Discussing goals encourages open dialogue about needs and desires, improving overall communication.

Common Techniques Used in Couples Therapy

In the intricate dance of relationships, couples therapy serves as an illuminating guide, unveiling techniques that can foster deeper connections and resolve conflicts. Therapists employ various methodologies to address the unique needs of each couple, creating a safe space for exploration and healing. This section delves into some of the most popular techniques utilized in couples therapy, offering insights into their effectiveness and application.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach that focuses on the emotional bond between partners. The primary objective of EFT is to help couples re-establish their emotional connection and foster a secure attachment. By identifying negative interaction patterns, therapists guide couples towards expressing their emotions in a safe environment. This helps partners gain insight into their emotional responses and promotes understanding.

Key components of EFT include:

  • Identifying Negative Cycles: Couples learn to recognize destructive patterns in their interactions that hinder communication and intimacy.
  • Emotional Expression: Clients are encouraged to openly share their feelings, allowing partners to understand each other’s vulnerabilities.
  • Rebuilding Bonds: Through structured exercises, couples work towards creating a stronger emotional connection, focusing on supportive responses rather than criticism.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is another widely used technique in couples therapy that addresses negative thought patterns and behaviors affecting relationships. This approach emphasizes the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, aiming to modify unhelpful patterns that diminish relationship satisfaction.

The technique includes several elements:

  • Identifying Cognitive Distortions: Couples are taught to recognize distorted thinking that leads to misunderstandings and conflicts.
  • Behavioral Interventions: Therapists encourage partners to implement positive behavior changes, promoting healthier interactions.
  • Communication Skills Development: CBT focuses on enhancing communication skills, helping couples articulate their needs and concerns effectively.

Communication Exercises

Effective communication is vital in any relationship, and therapists often incorporate specific exercises to strengthen this skill during sessions. These exercises help couples practice active listening, empathetic responses, and assertive expression of feelings.

Examples of communication exercises include:

  • Mirroring: One partner expresses their thoughts while the other mirrors back what they heard, ensuring clarity and understanding.
  • Using “I” Statements: Couples are encouraged to express their feelings using “I” statements to reduce defensiveness and promote openness.
  • Timed Sharing: Each partner takes turns speaking for a set amount of time without interruption, fostering respectful dialogue.

Role-Playing Scenarios

Role-playing is a unique and powerful technique used in couples therapy to facilitate constructive discussions about sensitive topics. By stepping into each other’s shoes, partners can gain a deeper understanding of their perspectives and feelings.

In role-playing scenarios, therapists guide couples through various situations, allowing them to practice responses and explore different outcomes. This technique can serve multiple purposes:

  • Understanding Perspectives: Couples gain insight into their partner’s feelings and reactions, promoting empathy.
  • Practicing Conflict Resolution: Role-playing helps partners rehearse strategies for managing disagreements in a safe environment.
  • Exploring Emotions: Partners can express emotions they find challenging to articulate during real-life situations, enhancing emotional literacy.

Addressing Specific Issues in Therapy

In couples therapy, addressing specific issues is crucial for rebuilding trust, enhancing communication, and fostering emotional intimacy between partners. Therapists employ various techniques tailored to the unique dynamics of each couple, ensuring that constructive dialogue can take place even around the most challenging subjects. The following segments delve into how therapists address common issues, methods for improving intimacy, and strategies for approaching difficult conversations.

Infidelity and Trust Restoration

Infidelity is one of the most challenging issues couples face in therapy. Therapists focus on creating a safe environment for both partners to express their emotions. They often utilize the following strategies:

  • Open Communication: Encouraging partners to share their feelings honestly, including pain, anger, and confusion.
  • Understanding Triggers: Identifying what led to the infidelity and the underlying issues in the relationship.
  • Rebuilding Trust: Establishing small, achievable goals that help partners regain trust over time.

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“Healing from infidelity involves both partners’ commitment to understanding and rebuilding, not just forgiveness.”

Communication Breakdown

A significant number of couples enter therapy due to chronic communication issues. Therapists aim to enhance dialogue with structured techniques:

  • Active Listening: Teaching partners to listen attentively without interrupting, promoting understanding.
  • Non-Verbal Cues: Recognizing the importance of body language and tone in conveying emotions effectively.
  • I-Statements: Encouraging the use of “I feel” statements to express feelings without blaming the partner.

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“Effective communication can transform a relationship, fostering both understanding and emotional connection.”

Financial Disputes

Financial issues often create tension in relationships. Therapists help couples navigate these disputes by emphasizing understanding and collaboration:

  • Identifying Values: Exploring each partner’s financial values and beliefs to address hidden conflicts.
  • Budgeting Together: Creating a joint budget that reflects both partners’ goals and responsibilities.
  • Regular Check-Ins: Establishing routine discussions about finances to prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

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“Transparency in financial matters leads to a healthier relationship dynamic.”

Improving Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is foundational for a strong relationship. Therapists employ various methods to help couples deepen their connection:

  • Shared Activities: Encouraging couples to engage in activities they both enjoy, fostering bonding experiences.
  • Vulnerability Exercises: Guiding partners to share fears, dreams, and aspirations to enhance trust and closeness.
  • Affectionate Communication: Promoting the expression of affection through verbal affirmations and physical touch.

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“Emotional intimacy grows from shared experiences and vulnerability, nurturing a deep connection.”

Approaching Difficult Subjects, What to expect in couples therapy

Addressing difficult topics can be daunting for couples. Therapists suggest a structured approach to facilitate these conversations:

  • Setting a Safe Space: Agreeing on a neutral environment and setting aside dedicated time for discussion.
  • Using Ground Rules: Establishing rules such as no interruptions or derogatory language to maintain respect.
  • Focused Topics: Concentrating on one issue at a time rather than overwhelming each other with multiple concerns.

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“A structured approach to tough conversations can transform potential conflict into collaborative problem-solving.”

Progress Monitoring and Evaluation: What To Expect In Couples Therapy

In the realm of couples therapy, progress monitoring and evaluation serve as vital components that guide the therapeutic journey. These processes ensure that both partners recognize their development and the effectiveness of the strategies employed. By systematically tracking changes, therapists can help couples navigate their unique challenges and foster healthier relationships over time.Therapists utilize various methods to monitor the progress of couples throughout the therapy process.

Regular assessments provide insight into the evolving dynamics of the relationship. These assessments can take the form of surveys, feedback forms, or verbal check-ins, allowing therapists to gather information about each partner’s feelings and perceptions. This ongoing tracking is essential for identifying patterns and making necessary adjustments to the therapeutic approach.

Regular Feedback Sessions

Regular feedback sessions play a critical role in the therapeutic process, allowing couples to discuss their experiences and share insights on the progress they are making. These sessions enhance communication and can reveal underlying issues that may not have been addressed previously. The significance of feedback sessions can be highlighted through the following points:

  • Encourages open dialogue between partners, fostering a safe space for expression.
  • Allows therapists to gauge the effectiveness of specific strategies and modify them as needed.
  • Facilitates goal reassessment, ensuring that the couple remains aligned with their therapeutic objectives.
  • Promotes accountability, as both partners are encouraged to reflect on their contributions toward the relationship.

“Therapy is not about fixing someone; it’s about uncovering the strengths each partner brings to the relationship.”

Homework Assignments

Homework assignments are a fundamental aspect of reinforcing the concepts learned in therapy sessions. They serve as practical applications that encourage couples to practice new communication techniques or strategies in their daily lives. The importance of these assignments can be Artikeld as follows:

  • Encourages couples to actively engage with the material discussed during sessions.
  • Provides opportunities for real-world application, making concepts more relatable and understandable.
  • Helps in solidifying changes in behavior by offering a structured approach to practice.
  • Facilitates discussion in subsequent sessions, allowing partners to share their experiences and insights.

Through consistent progress monitoring, feedback sessions, and targeted homework assignments, couples therapy transforms from a simple intervention into a dynamic journey of growth and understanding. The combination of these elements creates an environment where partners can thrive, fostering a deeper connection and more fulfilling relationship.

Preparing for Therapy Sessions

What to expect in couples therapy and how it helps

In the journey of nurturing a relationship, the preparation for therapy sessions plays a pivotal role in ensuring both partners can derive the maximum benefit from their time with a therapist. Couples who approach their sessions with intention and readiness set the stage for fruitful discussions, deeper understanding, and meaningful changes.Creating a space for openness and honesty is essential in therapy.

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It allows both partners to express their feelings authentically, leading to genuine insights and resolutions. This environment fosters trust, enabling couples to explore sensitive issues without fear of judgment or repercussion.

Checklist for Couples to Prepare

An effective checklist can guide couples in their preparation, ensuring they cover all necessary aspects before their therapy sessions. This proactive approach can enhance the therapeutic experience significantly.

  • Set a clear intention for the session, identifying specific issues to address.
  • Gather any relevant materials or notes that can help clarify thoughts and feelings.
  • Schedule the session at a time when both partners can be fully present and engaged.
  • Reflect on personal feelings, needs, and expectations leading up to the session.
  • Practice active listening skills to ensure both partners feel heard during discussions.

Importance of Openness and Honesty

Openness and honesty serve as the bedrock of effective therapy sessions. They empower couples to share their vulnerabilities, allowing the therapist to guide conversations toward healing and resolution.

“In the realm of therapy, honesty is the key that unlocks the doors to understanding and connection.”

When couples are transparent about their feelings and experiences, they facilitate a deeper exploration of their relationship dynamics. This openness allows the therapist to identify patterns and areas needing attention, ultimately steering the couple toward constructive solutions.

Effective Communication of Feelings and Needs

Communicating feelings and needs during therapy is essential for clarity and understanding. Couples should aim to express themselves in a way that fosters dialogue rather than defensiveness. To assist with this process, consider the following strategies:

  • Use “I” statements to communicate feelings without assigning blame. For example, “I feel neglected when…” instead of “You always ignore me.”
  • Practice summarizing each other’s feelings to ensure mutual understanding and validate emotions.
  • Identify specific needs or requests rather than vague statements. This enables the partner to respond more effectively.
  • Stay focused on the present issues rather than bringing up past grievances, which can cloud the conversation.
  • Encourage an open dialogue by inviting responses and clarifications, fostering a two-way interaction.

{The Role of the Therapist}

What to expect in couples therapy

In the realm of couples therapy, the therapist serves as a crucial guide, navigating partners through the complex waters of their relationship. This role demands a unique blend of skills and attributes that enable the therapist to facilitate constructive dialogue, promote understanding, and help resolve conflicts. Understanding the qualities to look for in a couples therapist, along with their methods for conflict management and neutrality, is essential for couples seeking to enhance their relationship.

{Qualities of an Effective Couples Therapist}

When searching for a couples therapist, certain qualities stand out as critical for fostering a beneficial therapeutic environment. A skilled therapist typically possesses the following attributes:

  • Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of both partners is vital. An empathetic therapist can create a supportive atmosphere where both individuals feel heard and valued.
  • Experience: A therapist with a background in couples therapy and a track record of success can provide valuable insights and effective strategies tailored to the couple’s specific issues.
  • Communication Skills: Clarity and openness in communication are essential. A therapist who can articulate concepts well helps couples better understand their dynamics.
  • Non-judgmental Attitude: Creating a safe space requires a therapist to remain neutral and non-judgmental, allowing partners to express themselves without fear of criticism.

{Managing Conflicts During Sessions}

Therapists employ various strategies to effectively manage conflicts that arise during sessions. These approaches are designed to ensure that discussions remain productive rather than devolving into arguments or unhelpful exchanges. Therapists might utilize techniques such as:

  • Active Listening: By practicing active listening, therapists can help each partner feel understood and reduce the emotional charge surrounding conflicts.
  • Reframing: This technique involves helping partners view an issue from a different perspective, promoting empathy and understanding.
  • Setting Ground Rules: Before delving into sensitive topics, therapists often establish guidelines for respectful communication, which can help prevent escalations.
  • Time-outs: In cases of high emotional intensity, therapists may suggest brief breaks to allow both partners to cool down and reflect before continuing the conversation.

{Maintaining Neutrality and Fostering a Safe Environment}

A therapist’s ability to maintain neutrality is fundamental in creating a safe environment for couples. This neutrality allows both partners to feel equally valued and understood, encouraging honest dialogue. Key practices that support this neutrality include:

  • Equal Attention: Therapists ensure that both partners have the opportunity to express their feelings and perspectives without favoritism.
  • Explicit Boundaries: By clearly defining the roles and expectations of both the therapist and the partners, the therapist fosters a balanced dynamic.
  • Regular Check-ins: Therapists may periodically check in with each partner to gauge their comfort levels and adjust the session flow accordingly, reinforcing a sense of safety.
  • Confidentiality: Emphasizing the importance of confidentiality builds trust, allowing couples to share deeply without fear of external repercussions.

Therapists embody the essence of neutrality, guiding couples through their journey while nurturing an environment where healing and growth can flourish.

Involving Individual Therapy

In the realm of relationships, the complexities of individual experiences often intertwine with shared dynamics, making the exploration of personal issues in conjunction with couples therapy essential. Individual therapy can serve as a vital complement to couples therapy, providing space for partners to address personal challenges that may be impacting the relationship. This dual approach can lead to deeper understanding and healing, ultimately fostering a healthier partnership.

Personal issues such as anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma can significantly influence communication patterns, emotional availability, and the overall atmosphere within the relationship. When one partner struggles with internal conflicts, it can create a ripple effect that complicates interactions and emotional connections. In this context, individual therapy provides a focused environment where each person can delve into their unique struggles, learning coping strategies that can enhance both their personal well-being and relationship satisfaction.

Differences Between Individual and Couples Therapy

Understanding the distinctions between individual therapy and couples therapy is crucial for couples navigating their shared journey. Individual therapy is primarily focused on the individual’s mental health, personal growth, and emotional challenges. In contrast, couples therapy centers on the couple’s interpersonal dynamics and relationship issues. Here are key differences to consider:

  • Focus: Individual therapy targets personal mental health concerns, while couples therapy addresses relational dynamics and communication patterns.
  • Goals: The goal of individual therapy is to foster self-awareness and personal healing, whereas couples therapy aims to improve relationship satisfaction and conflict resolution.
  • Setting: Individual therapy occurs in a one-on-one setting, allowing for deeper exploration of personal issues, while couples therapy involves both partners and focuses on their interactions.
  • Intervention Strategies: Techniques in individual therapy may include cognitive-behavioral strategies or mindfulness practices, while couples therapy often utilizes communication exercises and conflict resolution strategies.

Personal issues can often create barriers to effective communication and intimacy. For example, if one partner is grappling with anxiety stemming from past experiences, they may inadvertently withdraw from their partner, leading to feelings of neglect or frustration. By engaging in individual therapy, that partner can work through their anxiety, which may open pathways for more effective communication in couples therapy.

Through this integration of personal and relational work, couples can achieve a holistic understanding of their relationship and individual contributions to its dynamics, fostering a more profound connection and mutual support.

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Conclusion and Next Steps

As couples therapy comes to a close, it marks not just an ending but the beginning of a new chapter for partners. The insights gained and tools acquired during this journey pave the way for healthier communication and stronger bonds. However, the real work lies ahead as couples start to implement what they have learned into their daily lives.Looking towards the future, there are several potential next steps that can enhance and sustain the progress made during therapy.

It is essential to build on the foundations laid in therapy to ensure continued growth and to avoid slipping back into old patterns.

Potential Next Steps After Completing Couples Therapy

Continuing to nurture the relationship post-therapy is crucial. Here are some actionable steps couples can take:

  • Regular check-ins: Schedule weekly or bi-weekly discussions to share feelings and thoughts openly, ensuring that both partners feel heard and valued.
  • Goal setting: Establish short-term and long-term relationship goals, which can provide direction and motivation for both partners.
  • Attend workshops: Engage in relationship workshops or seminars that focus on communication skills, conflict resolution, or intimacy enhancement.
  • Practice skills learned: Incorporate techniques from therapy into daily routines, such as using “I” statements during disagreements or employing active listening practices.

Resources for Continued Relationship Growth Post-Therapy

To further support their relationship, couples can access various resources that encourage ongoing development. These resources provide tools and frameworks that help maintain and enhance their connection:

  • Books: Titles such as “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman offer timeless strategies for enduring love.
  • Online courses: Platforms like Coursera or Udemy offer courses focused on relationship skills and emotional intelligence.
  • Support groups: Local or online support groups can provide a community of couples navigating similar challenges and triumphs.
  • Relationship apps: Apps like Lasting or Couple can facilitate conversations and exercises to strengthen relationships.

Importance of Ongoing Communication in Relationships After Therapy

Ongoing communication is fundamental to sustaining the health of any relationship after therapy. It acts as a bridge connecting partners through shared experiences and challenges. Continuous dialogue not only reinforces understanding but also helps in addressing new issues as they arise.

“Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship; without it, growth becomes stunted.”

Here are key practices for maintaining effective communication:

  • Active listening: Focus on truly hearing what the partner is saying without planning a response while they speak.
  • Expressing gratitude: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate each other’s efforts, fostering a positive atmosphere.
  • Being open: Encourage transparency about feelings, thoughts, and concerns, ensuring that both partners feel safe to express themselves.
  • Conflict resolution techniques: Establish a process for resolving conflicts that respects both partners’ perspectives and promotes compromise.

The journey of couples therapy leads to growth and transformation, equipping partners with the tools to build a resilient and fulfilling relationship. By remaining committed to each other and utilizing available resources, couples can thrive well beyond the therapy room.

Closing Notes

As couples embark on this journey through therapy, they can anticipate not just resolution but a deeper understanding of each other and themselves. With ongoing communication and a commitment to personal growth, the lessons learned in therapy can lead to enriched relationships, long after the final session concludes. Embracing this process is a step toward a more connected and fulfilling partnership.

FAQ Overview

How long does couples therapy usually last?

The length of couples therapy can vary, typically ranging from a few weeks to several months, depending on the issues being addressed and the couple’s goals.

Are both partners required to attend every session?

While it is generally encouraged for both partners to attend, individual sessions can also be beneficial and may be scheduled at times.

What if one partner is skeptical about therapy?

It’s common for one partner to feel hesitant; open discussions about concerns and the potential benefits can help in addressing skepticism.

Can therapy help with issues like infidelity?

Yes, therapy provides a safe space to explore feelings of betrayal and work towards rebuilding trust and emotional intimacy.

Is it normal to feel uncomfortable during therapy?

Feeling uncomfortable is a normal part of the process, as therapy often involves confronting difficult emotions and issues that need addressing.